Fourth day in Rio, part 2–bay cruise
With Patricia’s expert Portuguese, we managed to convey where we wanted to go to the driver. He took off fast, slinging gravel as he went. It seemed to say to the other cabbies hanging around there, “So long, losers! I’ve got me a REAL fare!”
We drove for a good long way before even coming close to the marina, which made us wonder who thought we’d be able to walk there, with or without the threat of knives. The driver pulled into the parking lot and straight up to a gate where he did the thumb thing, yelled a few sassy one-liners back and forth with the gate guys and drove straight through as it opened seemingly on his command. He’s been here before, I thought.
All I cared about was seeing some people. That must sound like crazy talk from the guy who just told you he hated crowds. I was just talking about some kind of life in general. Nothing that would get in my way, maybe just an ambient crowd to show that the earth was still on its axis. We had yet to see any sunshine in Rio, and the grey skies along with the empty stores and attractions had taken on entirely too much of an apocalyptic sheen. It was downright depressing.
When we got out of the cab, I noticed that the marina was not exactly teeming with humanoids. The first thing we needed to do was find the office for the boat trip. This was one of those big party schooners that holds about 30 people, and takes a fun, music and beer-filled cruise around the bay. It cost 30 bucks American per person, so we decided to try it. It’s not like it was going to be packed.
That is such an understatement. We were the only people who signed up for the 2:00 sailing. I’m sure the captain and mate were sitting in the office going “SHIT! We almost got us a bye!” But maybe not. They could have been glad anybody showed up at all, being as they were getting 360 Reais from us to be split by them. It’s not like it was that expensive for them to run the thing. As a matter of fact, it was probably easy money for them. We had checked in at 1:15, and the guys told Jean and Robo for us to check back about 1:45 or so for the trip.
What were we gonna do? There was a cafe, but it was closed. The Marina Restaurant, however, was not. We decided to go in and check it out, not necessarily to eat, but maybe get a snack or something. This place was where the nautical elite of Rio eat, obviously, given the old wood walls, low ceiling, pleasantly deferential waiters in black and white, artwork and antique sailing gew gaws aplenty. The prices were absurdly high for eating, but there WAS a nice little cozy bar right to the left, with a very nice, competent bartender at the helm.
Jean and I ordered a couple of drinks. I think she got a salty dog. I can’t remember what I got, but I know that I scoured the bar selection shelf for Meyers’s Rum with no luck. I was beginning to smell an anti-Jamaican conspiracy. Pettus and the kids got soft drinks, and I think Robo did, too, because he was feeling afflictions of his sinuses. Whatever it was I got was great! It kind of knocked the grey weather blues aside. With the free mixed nuts (lotta Brazil nuts!) and the laughs, it was just the ticket.
I asked D&P if they had ever seen Anaconda. Of course they hadn’t. And of course WE have! It has become one of Jean’s (inexplicably) and my favorite movies. Jon Voight is so over the top in the film that it gives it the needed character punch to go along with the giant snakes that are just a little too big to scare me properly. But still enough to chill me good. There’s a line in the movie when Jon Voight’s character, Paul Serone, is strangling one of the hapless pretty girls on the boat to nowhere. He says to her, “Little Bird, do not look into the eyes of those you keel.” as he snaps her neck and throws her in the water to the giant anaconda. His leering expressions are a staple of mine, and I felt it was time to introduce Mr. Voight to D&P.
It was time to get on the boat! We paid the waiter, obrigadoed them all properly, and then did not pass up the bathrooms on the way out.
When we got to the boat, it turns out that we were, indeed the only 6 people sailing! So the 180 bucks American versus the 1400 bucks it would have cost us to charter. . .let me see. . . I think we did good.
The Captain was an Asian/Brazilian guy, possibly descended from the original 1908 migration from Japan! His mate was a small dark guy with a blank, but friendly face. Neither one of them seemed the least bit pissed off that it was just us going.
Some party cruise! Here’s Robo with a W.C. Fields-red nose from his sinal malaise, me helping Jean and her purse over the gangplank since she had enjoyed a pair of salty dogs, Daniel and Patricia not interested in drinking beer or dancing with any of us, and Pettus, who would have been game for a party if it were there. But it wasn’t by any means.
Even in this nice picture of him and Pettus, you can tell he was afflicted.
Here’s the standard take a picture of taking a picture, featuring D&P:
The ride through the little harbor was pretty. We got close to the boats, but our guy knew what for.
Pettus took this interesting shot of Jean and me with our peeps sitting on our cushions of delight.
I didn’t know if he was ready yet, but Daniel decided he wanted to give his first photographic Jon Voight. I must say, he did a great job, and being such a camera whore, it makes it even more of a beautiful thing.
I rewarded him by posing for a picture. My hair looks like one of the Lollipop Guild from The Wizard of Oz.
It was slightly misting when we boarded, so we wiped the water off the vinyl mats in the center and hopped up there. It was cozy, comfortable, and the breeze was incredible. A couple were wearing jackets, but not me! I was really totally cool for the first time on the trip. Some trade-off between the joy of sun and the comfort of clouds and mist. We sailed by all kind of stuff, mainly beautiful shoreline.
About halfway out of the harbor, the mate had put on a CD of Brazilian
party music. It was kind of like Salvador Carnaval music, more so than
the Samba music we had heard in Rio. The volume was more than any of us
wanted, and we immediately got Patricia to ask them to turn it down.
PAR-TEE!!! Whoooo!!!!
Once we had rounded Guanabara Bay toward Niterói, the sights changed. We passed the old church on the hill, one of the oldest in the area. I will find out more about it. Our Captain told Patricia and Patricia told us about it, and so did Marcelo, but damned if I can remember.
These were some of the very beaches that we passed on the way in. The same ones where Marcelo told us he wouldn’t swim.
By this time, we had found out exactly what he meant by “The water isn’t very clean.” There was detritus of all manner floating past us the closer we got to shore. We passed a long fluorescent tube, numerous bottles of Guarana soda, clothes, and even condoms. (Probably thrown from this very boat!) It was funny and pitiful at the same time. Poor Mother Earth. We suck.
The party CD played on. And given the sparse turnout, the grey skies, and our lack of activity beyond the occasional chuckle or picture, the music sounded like a revved up soundtrack of some kind. And it couldn’t have been more than an EP. There weren’t but four songs on it, and we heard them over and over. One particularly zesty song featured a cell phone ringing, to represent some kind of Brazilian booty call. The first twelve times I heard it, I thought I would turn around to see O Capitão talking to somebody. But he would only give me a pleasant smile and nod of the head as if to indicate the vastness and beauty. I think Daniel knew the song, and it became a cause for mild hilarity. In reality, I would have liked some Sergio Mendes.
Now that you know the secret of Robo’s sinus problem, these pictures show clearly what the professional model in him couldn’t hide. What a trouper.
Yessiree, we were partying our asses off! I was gonna see if the Captain wanted to buy some of our pictures for the brochure. Of course, after you’ve given Jean two salty dogs and a smooth boat ride, there is no other outcome. I don’t know what Patricia’s excuse was.
Daniel decided to do the floor show despite lack of audience interest. Afterwards we were gonna work on his Jon Voight.
